Episode 060 – How to feel abundant when your health really sucks

Hello! I’m your host, Lorraine Stone, and on today’s episode I’m talking about how to feel abundant when your health really sucks.

Because let’s face it, when we’re feeling awful it’s not that easy to see the wood for the trees. If you believe in like begets like, or manifestation, this is a really important thing to deal with so that you don’t start to manifest more negative things into your life that you feel you can’t handle right now, and make the situation worse.

You can’t stop everything that life is going to throw at you, but you can be prepared for how you deal with it.

Perfect example from my life. You might know that in January I had open abdominal surgery to have a hysterectomy and to remove the surrounding benign tumours in my abdominal cavity. After such an operation you’re not allowed to do anything for weeks, similar to a caesarean and lifting nothing heavier than a baby. Between James and my parents I had someone with me for the first week, and then the second Saturday morning home James had to pop out. I was finally alone for a few deep breaths. 

As I walked past the front door I noticed my slippers were wet. The carpet was soaked. The radiator had developed a hole and was leaking all over the floor. I’d been home alone a couple of hours by this point. It could have happened the day before when my parents were here, who knows. But any other time, I’d have taken the cover off and closed the radiator myself. But this time, it was a struggle to lift myself out of bed. So instead, I did all I could, and burst into tears.

Those tears were a mix of many things, not just feeling absolutely helpless, but as I let myself cry, I remembered that I still had a large turkey tray from Christmas so I could put that underneath, and I had a couple of large towels to hand because James hadn’t carried the washing upstairs for me yet, so I could put those on the carpet to start soaking the water up. I also called a couple of my neighbours and between them they were able to able to take it apart and with the help of some WD40, isolate the flipping thing. A few days later dad came over and replaced it. I’ve been in this house with that radiator for 20 years. What a time for it to get that hole.

Apart from the first couple of minutes, I handled the situation well and came out the other side of it still very calm. Although maybe with a few more tears when James and I dropped wine to my neighbours to say thank you.

I realise, now, that I went into my default problem solver. Maybe it’s the years of being Executive Assistant Fixer Extraordinaire to some very demanding high-powered people. Maybe it’s just always been in me and that’s why I can do my day-job, but I’m going to share with you what it is I do, so that you can apply it too.

Firstly, make a list

Okay. So sometimes you can feel really sucky when in reality the situation is not that bad. Sometimes I’d tell myself that I couldn’t do something, when really I just didn’t want to do that thing. I’ve become much better at saying no over the years….

So I want you to make a list of all the great things that you have. Loved ones, a roof over your head, a comfy sofa to sit on, a comfy bed to sleep in. Everything to be grateful for. In my case and the radiator it was that large turkey tray and those towels to hand. This is your abundance list. Put everything on it that makes you feel rich elsewhere in your life. Rich isn’t all about the money. Get writing about all of those things where you actually have a lot of abundance and luck already in your life. Read it whenever you need it. Add to it whenever you think of something.

Writing a list of wonderful things to be grateful for will make you feel better and it will give you a shift of perspective, which is a key ingredient of the five pillars of Life in Align.

Next, switch up your thoughts

Find the good. It’s easy to think about what’s bad, what’s holding you back. It’s easy to find things that are wrong with the people around you, especially when everyone else is complaining too. But what is the good? I wasn’t allowed to do the dishwasher the first few weeks post-op, and James would load it wrong, but I somehow, and no idea how, managed to keep schtum about it, and be grateful for him doing it. 

My dad would make a joke about it and reference Eric Morecambe. During the Morecambe and Wise Christmas Show 1971, Andre Previn, an extremely talented pianist and conductor was a special guest and was conducting the band with Eric Morecambe playing the piano. Morecambe being Morecambe was joking around, Previn came over and said “you’re playing all the wrong notes” Morecambe replied “I’m playing all the right notes, but not necessarily in the right order”. And that is how dad described James and my dishwasher. It was such a cheerful thing to watch, so I’ll put a link in the shownotes. The Morecambe and Wise show, not James loading the dishwasher…

Also. Don’t blame. It’s a common societal issue to blame others. To lay the fault at someone else’s feet be it family, friends, even the circumstance. We don’t look in the mirror often enough. We don’t take responsibility and ownership for our own actions and our own part in what’s happened.

Also consider, what if everything that has happened TO you, was actually happening FOR you? What if everything before was for you to be able to take on what’s coming for you to be able to find happiness. My illness messed with my social life for years. I fought to get my health back and I became very protective of who I spent my time with. I was single for 8 years. I dated, but never met anyone I was interested in allowing into my life. 

And that’s how I viewed it – allowing them into my life. It all prepared me, though. All those times other people were telling me their opinion, about how I was expecting too much, or that I should basically settle, I didn’t listen because I knew what I wanted and needed, and then James came into my life. Exactly who I had asked for.

And use your “just for guests” stuff. We are worth our best too. So burn your expensive candles. Use the plates that are just for best. Wear the nice clothes that you already have that you may have been saving for a special occasion, even if you’re only going to be on the sofa.

Do anything that you can to start feeling abundant and rich because that sometimes can help to turn things around just by the way you feel.

Lastly, listen for clues to take action

Success leaves clues. Failure leaves clues. Which clues do you want to listen to? With the radiator, I had grown up watching my parents put a bowl under a leak. There’s a success clue.

We subconsciously look for failure because our brain is wired to keep us alive. Failure means danger, so we need to look out for it. Instead, find the people who are doing well at what you want to achieve, and look for the clues. This is what my SHIFT programme is all about. Me sharing my clues with you, so that you can borrow them and adapt them to suit you and make your own path.

The secret to these three things is really just to let you feel like you have a little control again. Control feels snatched away from us when chronic health interferes, and I’m all for getting any of it back.

This isn’t about overnight, silver bullets. This is about a foundation for lifelong happiness, abundance, and all the rest you want. But, remember, you have to do the mental work first. Start with your mindset and it will be much easier to take those actions to feel abundant when your health really sucks.

I’d love to know your key takeaway from today’s episode, or if you’d like some more information on my SHIFT programme, or support with working through what’s getting in the way of you reclaiming your life from chronic illness, you can email me on [email protected]  You can also find me on Instagram, at lifeinalign, just DM me, and I’ll get back to you. I’ve put a link to my email and my Instagram in the shownotes.

I have also created a quiz for you to answer a few questions to reveal your perfect match power scent, your confidence secret weapon, intrinsically echoed through your many varied choices in life. There’s a link for this in the shownotes too, and you can also find it at lifeinalign.com/link-me. Or, if you go anywhere on my website, you should see a pop-up that will take you there.

Thanks for listening, and remember – you are worth it, and you get to choose.

Have a lovely day.