Episode 077 – Will my past prevent me getting better?

Hello loves, today I’m talking about if your past could prevent you from getting better.

There’s one big common denominator amongst all the women I have spoken with who have chronic illnesses. Including myself. We all have tremendous hurt in our past.

If you have listened to podcast you probably know that I am a survivor of a toxic childhood, and toxic marriage. Couldn’t have my own children. Been growing benign tumours since a teen, and had far too many surgeries to remove them. And diagnosed with a ME, along with respiratory and orthostatic problems.

I carried these things like a burden. In my head each story full of pain, and I had to fight to survive.

And it’s exhausting. Most of us can’t handle carrying that with us, all those painful thoughts that we inflict on ourselves daily.

I have learned a very powerful lesson. Our past is a creation of things that really happened, the facts, and things that we perceived, or have made up, or have an opinion about, to have happened. All rolled up into painful, soul-destroying stories. 

As an example. I was in a toxic marriage. My ex-husband was emotionally and mentally abusive. That’s fact. What I made up was that he was not physically abusive because the things he would throw never hit me, or he didn’t personally hit me. It took a long time for me to come to terms with his behaviour was still physically abusive. 

As I say, I’ve never met a woman with chronic health issues with an easy past. 

Every single one of them has had all the excuses and reasons why they are not able to get better. Every single one of them doubted they could choose to get better.

What’s the difference between those that do, and those that don’t? They quit looking at what they had done before, and what they were being told, as evidence that they couldn’t be successful this time. They chose to push through the pain, the failures, and rise above it. They chose to accept that everyone has ups and downs and they had to choose to not let the downs suck them under and spend life feeling like a failure. 

Sometimes you have to re-write your past. 

Re-write to correct the stories. The first one, is that you failed at life somehow because you got sick. Because by being sick you can’t have it all, be it all, do it all, and therefore failed somehow.

I no longer view myself as suffering with an illness, I am surviving and thriving with an illness.

I am no longer a victim of a toxic marriage, I am a survivor of a toxic marriage.

Just as we create the relationships we have with others, we create the relationship we have with ourselves.

Your past is as relevant as you want it to be. You can choose it to be the thing that motivates you, or the excuse to not bother. 

It’s not about changing a couple of thoughts, and adding a bit of toxic positivity. It’s about taking a very good look at your past, and creating a brand new story, the truthful story, so you can move on and thrive!

It might be the most valuable thing you do for yourself.

If you’d like to know more on how to shift your stories, reach out to me to see if my SHIFT to alignment coaching programme is a fit for you.

You can book a free consult call, the link is in my shownotes. You can also reach out to me via Instagram or send me an email, I’ve put a link to both of those in the shownotes. I can’t wait to see your journey.

Thanks for listening, and remember – you are worth it, and you get to choose.

Have a lovely day.