Episode 82 – How to declutter your mind to move on

Hello loves, today I’m talking about how to mentally declutter to be able to move on. 

Last week was the one year anniversary of my most recent operation. In case you haven’t heard my story, I had to have an open abdominal hysterectomy to remove a few very large tumours in and around my uterus and abdominal cavity. I had two months of recovery, being stuck on the sofa with not a lot to do to distract my thoughts away from finally having to accept I’ll never birth my own children.

It’s been quite a long year of trying to get my body back, a few ups and downs with my health, of grieving my infertility, and all the overwhelm that comes with it. Then a couple of weeks ago, after finding out my darling Dots, my cat, was poorly, I had to make the kindest decision for her, and say goodbye. It ripped my heart out. If you’re the type of person who understands how animals can become children, you’ll understand how for me losing her felt like another blow to my infertility grief as well. Dots was my baby girl. Noble, our Lurcher, lives here with me now, and will do so until I eventually get the house ready to move in with James, but there has been so much going on in my head, it can sometimes be very overwhelming. It’s part of the reason these episodes haven’t been consistent. One of my ME symptoms is that I slur and use the wrong words when I’m exhausted. My head was so full that I couldn’t record anything and make any sense. But what do you do when your brain is so full you can’t see the wood for the trees?

They say the state of your home or office is a reflection of your mind. 

I’m a creative, and depending on what I am doing depends on if I need to have stuff around me to work effectively. I’m also the type that will leave stuff out overnight if I’m carrying on the next day. However, where’s the line between the items you have around you reflecting and enhancing or hindering your thoughts and how can you mentally declutter?

Research suggests that we have as many as 60,000 thoughts a day. Many are repetitive, and for many people if focused on the negative, can have a detrimental effect from scarcity mindset: I have nothing to wear, my life would be better if I had more money; to abusive self-thoughts: I’m stupid, I’ll never be good enough.

As a search engine, our brain is full of information, and always searching for more. Not just more info, but proof to back-up the beliefs you have. Social media, the TV, other people, all contribute to our cluttered mind. If you’re overwhelmed you might not be able to get anything done as you can’t focus and you just feel stuck.

Here’s my fave tips for how to mentally declutter:

1. Challenge your self-doubt

I love affirmations. But, telling yourself you’re wonderful, successful, beautiful, can feel awkward at first. The mind is a search engine and always looking for evidence. Prove it to your brain. When you drop something and say “I’m always clumsy” think of the times you haven’t dropped something. Did you drink your tea/coffee without spilling it? Didn’t drop it, then. Therefore not always clumsy.
Taking action takes courage, not confidence. Confidence will follow. So the next time your brain questions your ability to succeed, simply say “challenge accepted“. Be willing to prove yourself wrong and acknowledge that your brain isn’t always right. Be careful of saying absolutes like always.

2. Ditch the self-pity

Feeling sad or disappointed is healthy. But self-pity is different. It involves magnifying your misfortune and convincing yourself that your problems are worse than everyone else’s. And if you’re not careful, it will keep you stuck there.
Learn to be aware of language that implies you are a victim. Saying “no one understands” or “bad things always happen to me” are red flags you’re filling your head with crap. When you catch yourself thinking that way, take a deep breath and identify one positive action step you’re going to take right away to improve your life. Even if you can’t solve the problem because it’s out of your control, you can choose to do something to make your life or someone else’s life a little bit better, and distract away from your thoughts.

3. Hand over the worrying

There’s a big difference between worrying and doing. Going over and over the same things won’t get you anywhere. Catastrophising, second-guessing, if-only-I’d-done/said-ing yourself won’t get you anywhere. If you can solve the problem, something is in your control such as getting out of debt, then take the active steps of cutting back on spending that has no return on investment. If you can’t solve the problem, such as something that has happened in the past or is out of your control, change your mindset.

Try to schedule 15 minutes every day to drive yourself nuts with worry. Write it all down, talk it out loud (even if to yourself). If you find yourself worrying and it’s not the 15 minutes, put it to one side and think or do something else. This will help stop it from taking over your day.

Ditching what holds us back and weighs us down is so important. It opens up new possibilities.

When you mentally declutter you’ll have more time and energy to devote to positive and productive things. Your good habits become much more effective and will help you build the mental strength you need to become the best version of YOU.

Okay, so this week I am also sharing that I am creating a free mini course, a mini SHIFT. 

It is a taster of my SHIFT to Alignment 8-week experience designed to take you from drained to sustained, chaos to calm, uncertain to confident, to become the most aligned, powerful and magical version of yourself.

My SHIFT to Alignment programme is more than just coaching. It’s nurturing, expansive, guidance, and strategy rolled into one, and you will literally have me at the other end of the phone cheerleading you as you progress, grow, and SHIFT.

We work through your mindset blocks, and how to take massive action on any area you want to realign.

We work through ways to work best with your body, and how to love your body, flaws and all, and see them for the powerhouse that they truly are, and much stronger than you think, as you find balance with the transition of menopause with a chronic illness.

And now you can have a taster of that in this free mini SHIFT. Five little units that you can complete at your own pace. Doing this work has such a profound impact on my life. Not by giving me all the answers, but because as life changes, new things come up, as we heal one thing it makes us stronger to take on the next. The work I put into SHIFT gave me the potential for massive, focused action that I had inside me to create change. And that potential, of course, resides in you, too.

You can get on to the waitlist at lifeinalign.com/minishift. 

I hope you check it out because everything on there is something that I have personally tested and love using, and have seen great results with clients.

And that is it for this week. 

Everything I mentioned in this episode can be found in the show notes at lifeinalign.com/link-me.

Thanks for listening to this episode of the Life in Align podcast. If you liked what you heard and want to hear or read more, head over to lifeinalign.com. 

Please also subscribe and share, so that we can get this out to others who are also wanting to take back the life a chronic illness stole from them.

And remember, you are worth it and you get to choose.

Have a lovely day.