They say we can’t have it all. But, who are they to tell us that anyway? And what makes them think they know what your “all” is?

My all is highly likely to be different to yours. For me, all is: family, pets, career, keeping my illness under control, and marathon training.

For many, having it all means having the power to make our own choices. But, what if it feels like you’re not, or you can’t.

Balance or alignment

I’m not a fan of the word “balance”. Balance suggests equality. Life is not equally even. It’s about understanding your priorities for the season you’re in. You might have a new child, a new job, a new pet, or a new partner. You might have had a change of priorities due to illness. These are all seasons. As you adapt, it will change.

This is why I work with my clients to find their own unique alignment, not balance. Expectations change, and balance will change. You will have seasons where you need to focus your attention on different aspects. View life as fluid. Items that are flexible can break.

First, answer these two questions:

• Where are you needed the most?
• Where do you want to be the most?

Understand what ALL means to you

Looking at the answers to the above questions, what are your top things? Mother, caring for parents, business, etc. Do you feel you have power there?

Now, answer these:

• Who am I?
• Who do I want to be?

These need to be aligned. You need to believe in these.

• Who do people see me as? (if you don’t know, ask three people you trust)

When all three match, then you have your power back. You are living within your values. Then, you can have it all.

It’s all part of being yourself. When you’re not yourself, it does NOT mean you are not authentic. Rather, you are still working through something.

How do you define success?

Is the definition yours, or someone else’s. Success to each of us is unique.

Understand that when you’re knocked down, feeling deflated, or feeling defeated. Tired of being tired, or don’t know what to do or a say next. Perhaps feeling completely and utterly lost, remember that all of us go through it. When in that space, it is for a season. It doesn’t mean you have failed.

Your responsibility is to yourself. Confidence is not tied to self-worth. Confidence is tied to skills (think of a child learning to walk). Dealing with anxiety is not confidence, it’s a new skill.

When in unfamiliar territory you are still worth it, you are always worth it. During good times, and especially the dark times be around people who remind you of who you are. Joy comes in the morning.

I help people just like you work through the above. If you’d like to see how I can help you do the same, please email me.