It all comes down to one simple thing: how bad do you want it?

I hear all the time how much someone wants to get control of their illness, lose weight, start exercising, learn a new skill, etc.  They want it so much yet a few weeks down the line they’re not any further along.  

Sure, they’ve surfed through social media, listened to podcasts, talked with friends and family, and yet, nothing.  It feels like doing something about it.  It’s tiring, it’s demotivating, and disheartening.

I get it.  When I’m having an off day and I’m having pins and needles and my muscles are in spasm, I must have done too much around the house yesterday, it couldn’t possibly be all the caffeinated sugary home-made toffee nut lattes I’ve been drinking.  When I’m training and I hit a plateau and I’m not getting any faster, I reach for Google to find a different training plan. Because it has to be the training plan that’s at fault. 

The problem is that I’m not doing the most important thing, and that’s taking action when I don’t really want to.  I don’t want to do sprint sessions.  I want to drink scrummy lattes.  

There is no silver bullet, and no one is coming to rescue you.

Give up excuses

Going back to my toffee nut latte example of doing too much the day before… I don’t consider it’s doing too much if I’ve been for a 15 mile run and eaten healthily the day before, so it’s a bullshit excuse to say I did too much around the house instead of admitting that my food has been off target.

What are you blaming instead of admitting the truth?

What’s your why

Who/what are you doing this for? Our desire to achieve something is based on the reward we will get.

Internal – accomplish something because it is personally rewarding to you such as going for a run every morning because you love the runner’s high and the energy it gives you for the day, or cleaning your home because you it helps you feel calm and organised. Losing weight because you’ll feel more confident (and comfortable) in your clothes and playing with the kids.

External – act or accomplish something for external rewards such as fame, money, you want to receive praise, or exercise because you don’t want to look unfit in front of others.

Focus

We end up where we focus.  Back in my motorbike racing days, they’d tell us to focus on the finish line (drag racing and a straight line made this easy).  If anything happened, you didn’t change your focus.  

My ex-husband and I were pushed into a grassy central reservation on the motorway by a lorry that hadn’t seen we were already in the spot he was moving into.  Our car, a Subaru (built to rally spec) had incredible four-wheel drive, which certainly helped, as did being on a straight part of the road. But I noticed he was looking at the central reservation. I yelled “there!” and pointed straight ahead, his focus returned to the road and so did the car.  Focus on where you want to be, the rest will follow.

And that’s it.  To decide how bad you want it, determine what excuses are you making, what’s your why, and where’s your focus.  If you then decide that you just don’t want it that bad, that’s more than ok. Being honest with yourself is THE most important thing here.  Choose to work towards what you want, but let go of the want to achieve it overnight/in three months/in a year.  Work at your pace.

It’s not always going to be easy, but you are worth it, and you get to choose.

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