Episode 81 – Why you need to let go of the self-care guilt

Hello loves. On today’s episode, I’m talking about why you really need to let go of the guilt for self care and putting yourself first.

Have you ever had a day where you really want to do something for yourself? But there is a nagging feeling that’s stopping you. You’ve got too much work to do too many people who need you in a mountain of chores. You decide all this can wait and you still do that thing for yourself. But the nagging feeling remains throughout and it takes what should have been a happy experience. 

But that’s guilt for you. 

Making you feel like you’ve done wrong by putting something about yourself first and according to research it’s something that women are more likely to be susceptible to. Research shows that women are much more likely than men to experience feelings of guilt when they take time to do something for themselves. While men more often experience guilt for breaking the rules, women are more likely to feel guilty over how they behave over how they believe their behaviour is perceived by others. Or how their actions have impacted another person.

This is partly due to how boys and girls are socialised when they are young, 

and down to the stereotypical gender roles that remain once they have grown up. Women are still expected to do more childcare, more caring for ageing parents and more housework. And they are expected to do all this also whilst trying to do a great job at work and keep in regular social contact with their friends.

Sports England found these gender roles were even more exacerbated in 2020 to 2021 thanks to the pandemic. The research revealed that women found it harder than men to maintain their activity habits when restrictions were in place, particularly those who have to juggle full time jobs and homeschool their children. 

An Office for National Statistics survey found that women took on 78% more childcare than men during the first lockdown even though they were both at home.

So is it any wonder that self care falls down the priority list? Or that we might feel guilty for putting ourselves first over spending time with a friend, hanging out the washing or working through a lunch break like a colleague.

There are so many different types of guilt. Mum guilt. Taking a lunch break guilt. Missing out on social occasions guilt. Guilt when you are not feeling good enough.

Reasons, however, why you should prioritise self care? 

1. You will live longer. Reducing your stress not only slows the ageing process but it also reduces risks of heart attack, stroke and some forms of cancer. 
2. It boosts your immune system. If you were the primary care for children or other relatives, or the one who pays the bills and keeps the house ticking over, you can’t afford much time laid up in bed because you’re sick. Self care helps keep you feeling healthy. 
3. You are a role model. Research has found that children with active mums, for instance, are more likely to be active themselves and form long healthy habits with exercise. So be their inspiration. Let them see that you are taking care of yourself and then they will learn to take care of themselves. 
4. It helps you sleep better. Studies have found that self care improves sleep and this has a whole host of benefits. happier, healthier, more productive. So much more. So when you are feeling well rested. 
5. It enhances your mood. It triggers the feel good hormones, which enhance your sense of well being and reduce stress. It’s sociable. Go with a friends. Go have a spa day go get your nails done, spend time with a friend. 

You deserve time to yourself to do what you love, be it having a massage going for a run spending three hours in the library where it’s absolute silence. Don’t let anyone tell you any different and don’t feel guilty about it.

Okay, so this week I am also sharing that I am creating a free mini course, a mini SHIFT. 

It is a taster of my SHIFT to Alignment 8-week experience designed to take you from drained to sustained, chaos to calm, uncertain to confident, to become the most aligned, powerful and magical version of yourself.

My SHIFT to Alignment programme is more than just coaching. It’s nurturing, expansive, guidance, and strategy rolled into one, and you will literally have me at the other end of the phone cheerleading you as you progress, grow, and SHIFT.

We work through your mindset blocks, and how to take massive action on any area you want to realign.

We work through ways to work best with your body, and how to love your body, flaws and all, and see them for the powerhouse that they truly are, and much stronger than you think, as you find balance with the transition of menopause with a chronic illness.

And now you can have a taster of that in this free mini SHIFT. Five little units that you can complete at your own pace. Doing this work has such a profound impact on my life. Not by giving me all the answers, but because as life changes, new things come up, as we heal one thing it makes us stronger to take on the next. The work I put into SHIFT gave me the potential for massive, focused action that I had inside me to create change. And that potential, of course, resides in you, too.

You can get on to the waitlist at lifeinalign.com/minishift. I hope you check it out because everything on there is something that I have personally tested and love using, and have seen great results with clients.

And that’s it for today. If you enjoyed what you heard, please like and subscribe to this podcast and share so we can get the message out to others who also need the help. You can find everything that I’ve mentioned today in the show notes at lifeinalign.com/episode-81. That’s eight one.

And remember, you are worth it and you get to choose.

Have a lovely day.