For me, plans matter. Perhaps it’s an occupational hazard for me to plan things. Okay, okaayyyy, to plan EVERYTHING! As an Executive Assistant it’s my job to plan someone else’s life. As a coach with my own business I plan more things than I thought possible. I plan for Christmas. My major running event of the year, a marathon, forms several months of my diary prior to the start line. Once a week I plan my meals, what clothes I’ll wear on what day, tasks that need doing around the house. I even, yep I’ll admit it, plan a mass re-decorating frenzy for every November when I take the week off for Thanksgiving.
Why plans feel good
We crave certainty. We love to have things to look forward to. Plans can help us achieve our goals. We can plan anything to everything from weddings, having babies, holidays, day-trips, to, as said earlier, food, and what to wear for the week. One great thing about plans, you can have as many as you want. When I’m marathon training I have a running plan, a nutrition plan, and a recovery plan running side-by-side.
Planning helps build excitement, and make conversation. In Four Weddings and a Funeral Simon Callow’s character, Gareth, quips “I’ve got a new theory about marriage. Two people are in love, they live together, and then suddenly one day, they run out of conversation… he proposes” Although, personally, I don’t think it’s the best reason to get married….
When things go wrong
Having a plan doesn’t guarantee it will go according to, well, plan. When things don’t go how we planned, how we hoped, we lose our certainty. From a night out being cancelled, to the end of a relationship, when a plan of any magnitude goes wrong we can feel many negative emotions, and lose certainty, faith, trust. Although, there are times when we feel relieved too…, But, when we don’t feel relieved, we blame and berate ourselves. We give up on other plans and goals.
Depending on the type of plan, we can be too strict with ourselves. For instance, diets that don’t allow for some flexibility have a higher chance of failing. Just because we have a plan, doesn’t mean we’ll actually follow it through. I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve planned something and then the day arrives and I change my mind. Sometimes I don’t feel well, sometimes It’s self-sabotage, sometimes I realise I just didn’t want to in the first place.
Have you had a plan, and then had a crap day, and thrown the plan out of the window? I’ve done this with running, if I haven’t gone first-thing, it’s not happening after work. I tell myself it will, but bet you anything I won’t. Along with it, the nutrition plan goes out the window, especially if I didn’t meal prep at the weekend. Throwing a pizza in the oven seems so much simpler at the time, and I rarely look ahead at how eating all that dough, and a lack of nutritious food, will make me feel later, regardless of how good it feels eating it at the time. Or someone brings doughnuts to the office… Side-bar. During lockdown I would food shop before 7am. You know what else happens before 7am? The Krispy Kremes arrive. Yep, I had to walk past that van parked outside and smell aaallllllll the sugary goodness. Luckily, the smell is overwhelming and puts me off entirely. It could be a disaster otherwise.
Getting back on track
The problem is, when it goes wrong, it wasn’t part of our bigger plan. If you’re into law of attraction, you know the ‘how’ has nothing to do with us anyway. We pick the goal, take actions, and adjust along life’s path.
- Having an off-day is normal. We can’t be Positive Penny 24/7-365. Life isn’t perfect. The not-so-great stuff happens. Your plans give you the upper-hand to adjust, and still come out on top. If it’s diet-related, for instance, forget what has happened today, and carry on with the plan.
- Having other plans help. When a bigger life event goes wrong, having other plans to look forward to can soften the blow. Achieving things on a different plan helps keep certainty, and feeling good about yourself. Messed up one thing, but rocked another.
- Make sure your plan is do-able. A realistic plan teaches you to find certainty. The feeling of success from a mini-goal being hit, far out-weighs the temporary fix.
- When you made the plan your thought it would work. You might have to make a couple of ‘adjustments’, be it changing pasta to rice, to finding a new man, or perhaps considering IVF or adoption. Trust in it. It will still work.
Plans are not always fun, but consider the sense of accomplishment. Getting back on track, accomplishing what you set out to do, that’s what builds confidence. Be on the lookout for temporary hits, in my case the doughnut, and remember the end result.
Your plans are to help you towards whatever you aspire to. You are given the gift of practice along the way. Mess up, dust-off, and keep going.
To help keep on-track, download my must-have worksheet for reframing your thoughts so you can always come out on top.
